Potty Training? ARE YOU REALLY READY?!

So last week we left off with the topic of potty training. I’m not going to lie; my child was fully and officially potty trained at 4.5 years old, but I could not have done it without the help of… what some would call… the dreaded ABA therapy. After much back and forth, I finally said yes to ABA last year. My nonverbal, non-expressive 4-year-old needed someone other than mom to help him navigate life. My husband and I’s main concerns were his ability to function in everyday life, communicate with the general public, and have the peace and privacy that everyone deserves.

It took just two months, and that was during the summer. The key to this training was the consistency of using the toilet. If you missed even one potty break and he had an accident, it would set us back. Structure in families with children with disabilities seems to be extremely important. I say this as a mom finding her way, not as a professional, since I only took one class in early development during my college years. I am sharing my thoughts, opinions, and learned lessons on my own parenting journey. Here’s how it went…

First, we focused on daytime training and decided to leave the challenge of nighttime for later. Believe it or not, you’ll first need to get yourself into the right mindset. The positive mindset of “We got this” is the only approach you should take. Your child will likely hate it, but what got us through was the fact that he would have the privacy he deserves and needs! Go into it saying, “We will be successful!” and “My child deserves this right.” Say anything you need to motivate yourself to get it done! Be prepared! I say again—this will be one of the hardest yet best things you can do for your kids!

Here’s a step-by-step process that worked for us:

1. Take your child to the bathroom AS SOON AS THEY WAKE UP. Have them sit there. (I would read books to them, have a fidget device nearby, or put a YouTube video on your phone that they like, but getting them to that bathroom as soon as they wake up is critical to eliminating bedwetting.)

2. If they don’t go during that time, set a timer for every 10 to 15 minutes until they do. (I researched using “S” sounds for #1 (plainly said as peeing) or (yes, I did this) grunt sounds for #2 (plainly said as pooping). I’ll use numbers from now on 😉.) They tend to work. You can also use the sound of water trickling from the faucet for #1.

3. Once they’ve successfully gone on the toilet, you can adjust the timing to every 30 to 45 minutes, using your judgment based on your child and their needs. Every kiddo is different.

4. TIMERS are key to keeping you accountable, so set your phone or stove timers to ensure you’re on track!

5. NIGHTTIME PROCESS is pretty straightforward! Use your judgment to adjust, but for us, nighttime involved a final drink at 6 PM and a final toilet break at bedtime right before they went upstairs to bed. This helped reduce bedwetting! If you decide to take your child out of diapers or pull-ups for daytime and use them only at night, ensure you verbally communicate this to your child: “We are going to bed, so we are putting on your pull-up/diaper.” The same goes for when they wake up: "We are awake now, and you no longer need your pull-up/diaper for the day.” This helps your child understand that the pull-up/diaper is now only used at bedtime, signifying their success during the day! Tell them how proud you are and NEVER yell at them for accidents, no matter how hard that might be, as it can affect their training and make them feel they've done something wrong. Bodily functions are never bad or wrong, and we definitely don’t want our kids to feel guilty about an accident!

This process needs to be repeated daily and consistently until they eventually start going on their own.

I initially started this process with my child while he was in early intervention in preschool. He was using the toilet fine at home but continuously had accidents at school because they couldn’t set a timer and get him there like I could. Having just one accident per day set us back a whole year until we finally had summer to work on it. So when I say consistency is key, it truly is! Our children need routines, and this is a natural hygienic routine. They thrive with routines, so when introducing something new, ensure you have a solid routine to work around!

Much love, and if you have any questions about how I, as a parent, went through this, don’t hesitate to message me and ask. I’m here for you all, and this is my passion! Let’s do this together!

Kendra